I suppose for most of the people who read my blog today’s topic is not very relevant, because you’ve all got your life more or less in order and paths are laid out. For me, however, the time to decide what I want to do the next years has come yet again.
I remember when I finished school, I was pretty confident, believing that the world was mine to conquer. I wanted to get a career and I didn’t really plan to stay in Germany on the long run. See, I’m fluent in English and I’ve always loved the American culture, so I thought it was natural considering an emigration… I’ve stayed abroad so often in my life, I knew that it was gonna be tough, but still.
Right after High School I went to live in Spain for some time. This was awesome. I met so many nice people from around the world and with many I’m still in contact. I had all planned and laid out in front of me:
- Study Business Administration
- Study abroad as exchange student (Spain)
- Finish my degree, get a nice job
Yeah, well I didn’t consider one thing (or rather some):
Men, Family, Kids. It just didn’t pop up on my radar. Not that I don’t like kids. I LOVE kids, but I never thought about having a family. This changed apruptly when I met my boyfriend. He’s the total opposite from me. Deeply rooted in the village he’s from, content with his life, his career path laid out in front of him. He wouldn’t mind staying in the same area that we’re now both living in for the rest of his life. And he’d LOVE to have kids.
So here’s my dilemma now:
I’m finishing my Degree in Fall and I’d love to have a career. At least, partially (I don’t have to become CEO of an international company…). I’d love to travel the world a bit farther, to the US and maybe stay to work there for some years. But on the other hand I’d love to have kids. This on the other hand, implies that I’ll either become a SAHM or have to pay a lot for a full-time nanny. I don’t favour any of the alternatives and I’m not against any of them and I think that’s the problem. I can’t decide what to do. Depending on my daily mood I’ll prefer the one or the other.
I mean, I’m still only 24, so I can build a career now and then have kids when I’m 30, but I get the feeling that I have to decide now… Sorry, about being so personal, but that’s my Random Thoughts not only on Tuesday, but for pretty much of the week… I think I just needed to get this out of my system…
Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful week…